Going 'Home'

I wrote the following entry in my journal just over a year ago, while in my homeland. Since I'm returning there again, I feel compelled to share these words....


I spent my remaining days on the farms of Taichung (central Taiwan). Being so far removed from this place, I had often forgotten about its existence and that this is the place where I come from. The farms is where my dad grew up and where his brothers, with their children and grandchildren, still all reside. The farms is where 17, soon to be 18, little and big kids call me gugu (aunt) and wonder why I step into their lives with such inconsistency. The farms is where my siblings and I would have been raised if it weren't for the one-in-a-million opportunity my dad was granted through a scholarship to study medicine in the city.

I can't quite say that I love this place, because I've never spent more than a few weeks here (unless I have, of which I don't recall). I've never been able to reconcile with this part of my life - how to incorporate it into my life story. And I'm not sure that I ever will. Each time that I visit the farms, I would anticipate it to be my last, since I probably would never come here alone.

I hope, though, to one day have personal relationships with my extended family and may be even share my faith with them. I wonder if they've ever heard about Jesus, but I'm afraid to ask, since their houses are laden with idols and incense burning for the ancestors. I have a hope, a vision if you will, that this whole side of my family would dedicate their lives to God and spread the gospel like wildfire to their neighbors. Who knows if this will come true, but I will devote myself to praying for it.

This evidently makes me think about marriage, particularly the man I'll marry. Do I need to marry someone who is fluent in Taiwanese so that we could be partners in this vision? As of now, I'm not quite fond of the idea of marrying a Taiwanese man (too tradiational for me). However, I will ask the Lord for a man who loves my family and encourages me to relate with them intentionally. He will even make traveling plans with me to attend awkward family reunions even if he feels out of place. Along with that, I will also request of the Lord that he be an advocate of justice for the poor, that he upholds a generous and simple lifestyle, that he be gentle in word and deed, that he affirms and believes in my beauty, that his love for God and love of people is phenomenol, that he would be a great father and faithful husband, and that he has a kick-ass mom.

Whew. I'm just gonna wait on the Lord to deliver the goods. Well, I must depart from this place now. I have a good feeling that I'll be back soon.