Hey teach, what's the haps?

I have discovered one of my favorite aspects of teaching: parent-teacher conferences. There was something about meeting the parents and getting to know the “whole” person of the child better that made my heart leap for joy. As I sat listening in on conversations between my CT and various parents and at times felt appropriate enough to chime in, I understood that teaching as a partnership with family and the wider community is teaching at its best and is teaching as it was intended to be. Teaching should never be an isolated job or activity – but why is it that teachers often feel so unsupported and alone?

As my CT and I greeted and welcomed each parent/family into our classroom and carried out productive conversations about their children, we certainly felt less alone in our endeavors to educate these students to be successful in school and towards their futures. My CT had a suaveness to her when conversing with the family – she was both very friendly and very firm about the points she wanted to get across. I learned from her that friendliness goes a long way with parents and that being well-prepared is key. For every student she prepared a report card, an index card written with points of concern regarding the student, a reading level assessment printout, and plenty of the student’s in-school work to provide proof of the concerns she was raising. My CT has a trustworthy reputation because every parent or family member that walked into her classroom were all ears and ready to partner with her in getting their child in shape for academic success.

Nearly all but three parents/families attended the parent-teacher conferences. The first conference I sat in on was with N.’s maternal grandmother, who is the legal guardian of N. and his older brother. Mrs. C. uses a walker and could not make it up the stairs to the third floor. So she, my CT and I sat down in the guidance counselor’s office on the first floor and had our meeting. After we discussed how N. is still having uncontrolled behavior issues and how he is not giving his best efforts to learning, Mrs. C. with wet eyes said to us, “I’m trying the best that I can, but it doesn't seem to be good enough.” I nearly teared up hearing this. I can only imagine what she has gone through. She had seen her daughter become a drug addict and lose custody of her own children, then she took the boys in and has been playing the role of a parent a second time around – and this time, as a frail old lady. In retrospect I really wish that I had some words of affirmation to offer her, to tell her that she is a most self-sacrificial grandmother and that her grandsons will grow into great men on account of her, or to offer her something material that could substantiate their needs, but I did not and could not. All we did was thank her for her time and bid her farewell. Then we raced up the stairs to meet with the next set of family.

Each parent or guardian thereafter was unique in their interactions with my CT and me and all of them expressed much gratitude for our role in their children’s lives. In the evening session, C. came in with his mom and two baby sisters. Through a translator my CT communicated to C.’s mother that it was really important for C. to engage more during class and to be more proactive in learning English. C. and his family had immigrated to from Guatemala about two years ago and have been in New York ever since. It was very pleasant to see C. as a big brother to his younger sisters and as a respectful son to his mother. His mother had such a deep love and high hopes for him and expressed that she wished she could do more to support his academic development. However, as a single parent with two other little daughters to feed and take care of, such a task is beyond her. We assured her that at school we do what we can to support his English and his learning, and we told her that C. would improve as long as he stays focused and puts in more effort in his schoolwork. His mother felt glad about this, thanked us, and left with her three children. After they were gone, the guidance counselor, who served as our translator, informed us that they have a P.O. Box address. My heart sank upon hearing this and as I imagined them walking back to a temporary home that was not theirs.

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At the bookstore today I bought a book on electricity for C. I knew that getting him a book is no solution for the more urgent needs that C. and his family have, but it was what I had on my heart to do for a long time. C. has consistently expressed his interest in electricity science for several months now and we have not been able to find him a book on this topic in the classroom library. I'm so excited for C. to expand his interest. In the book, I'm going to write him a note, "To C., our future electrician/electrical engineer: Thanks for blessing me. You are bound for great things. Your student teacher, Ms. Tsay."

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Lastly,

Rest in peace, Happy. You're the sweetest dog-friend ever and we will miss you always.